i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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