So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
