Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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