She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
