can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize