I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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