Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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