I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
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Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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