At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
