How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
im six kinds of drunk right now
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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