I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
