You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
