Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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