Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
