Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
