So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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