two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
