dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
