I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
