and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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