Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
