hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
