I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
