She's JV to your varsity
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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