you win again, gameday.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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