fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
