I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize