**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize