You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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