can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
