Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
