I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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