he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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