Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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