i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
