i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
