Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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