i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
