found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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