Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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