And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
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That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
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Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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