I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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