Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
