Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I am mentally ready for anal.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
