I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
