this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
