I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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