I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
