I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
