I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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