I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
