does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We are two peas in an std pod
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Never joke about your clitoris.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
