Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
