just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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