at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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