your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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