I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
