I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
