wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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