im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
