When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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